I was at the grocery store the other day and the cashier asked if I knew Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn Jenner. I answered, “not personally.” As much as I think I pass, my voice typically gives it away but I know this young 20 something young lady had ‘made me.’ She then asked if I did my own nails and makeup. I replied, “No and yes.” She was fascinated with Caitlyn and wanted to ask a million questions, much to the chagrin of the customers behind me in line. She asked if I minded her questions and I said no, I am always willing to educate anyone who is genuinely curious. She then wanted to know my whole history and I said there was not enough time but that. I started my transition about 11 years ago but there was much more to the story. I did say that Caitlyn Jenner started a conversation but is not like 99% of transgendered people. Caitlyn was living as a man on January 1^st and within 6 months is on the cover of Vanity Fair. She had the resources to undergo a 10-hour surgery for facial feminization, and a closet of designer clothes.

Thus it is a Segue for my story.

If I compare my story to that of Caitlyn Jenner there are similarities, just like there are similarities to Kristen Beck, and many others who have transitioned later in life. I am within 3 years of Kaitlyn’s age. I would like everyone who knows me to read this – all of it. Most will not, but I do have to write it so it is understood. Many people have thought this was a spur of the moment thing but I want anyone who wants to know this has been a life long struggle and people besides me need to know.

I started out young and naïve. My assumption early in life was that I was just like everyone else. I must admit I had a great childhood, wonderful parents and great siblings. My parents were amazing! I did not know we were poor the whole time growing up. My parents never went to high school, but they had a whole lot of intelligence and challenged us to always do more and to know more. My father would have discussions at the dinner table about current events and engage us in them. Then when we started to understand his opinion on the subject, he would change it 180°. From that I learned to look at and understand both sides of an argument. Only then can you know your opinion fully expresses your belief given the facts you know. My mother read to us every night usually from the same book so we got to know the stories pretty good.

I had one older brother and 9 younger siblings. As I said, I was just like everyone else. My older brother, Dan, was my mentor of sorts. He blazed the trail of life and I got to follow along a couple of years later. I remember doing most things with Dan. We went to an elementary school with just 4 rooms – Grades 1-4. So when I was in first grade, he was in third. When I got to Jr High School (6^th grade), he was in 8^th. When I got to be a freshman in High School, he was a junior. But more importantly there were activities outside of school we did together. We were on the same baseball team; we were in scouts together; and we were on the swimming team together. We learned how to play chess together (from someone who did not quite know all of the rules correctly)

My next younger sibling was my brother, Gary. There was a certain amount of sibling rivalry between Gary and me. I’m sure Gary never recognized it. Gary was charismatic, musical, and told everyone he was going to be President of the United States. This endeared him or should I say made him very popular amongst the adults. So at this point, historically speaking, I felt like John Adams – right between George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The more I tried for the status of Gary or Dan, the less I succeeded. I tried to be witty, but it just didn’t have the same effect as when those two were witty. Another drawback for me, if you will, is that I’m dyslexic. It was not something that was being diagnosed at the time, but it prevented me from excelling in several academic areas including spelling, English, and math.

All that is written before this paragraph is a brief explanation of everything in my life with the exception of my gender dysphoria. What follows is my story of the gender dysphoria which, like dyslexia, was undiagnosed in those years. In both cases, knowledge of both the dyslexia and the gender dysphoria were not widely known. When I approached what we now call middle school (it was junior high school back in the day), a perfect storm was coming. I realized that I was not like everyone else. The dyslexia became more pronounced, so I went from about a 3.0 grade-point-average to about a1.7.

Here is my story broken into several chronological sequences. My next posting will be from as far back as I can remember to when I started my transition. The installment after that will be the story of my transition to date the highlights and hopefully funny sometimes like I said I was very naïve. After that I will post things about what is going on and maybe report things I have put on the web elsewhere, it will not always be about being transgendered but it will always be from me or at least my point of view. So sit back and enjoy the flight!